Shelly's Extreme Commentary of Starkit's Prophecy!
by xxfalling.failingxx
Summary: Why did I decide to do this? I've NEVER read this terror before. So I thought I'd give the fandom a chance to see my reaction to this *fabulous* story. WARNING: Contains angry cursing, ranting, and loss of sanity. Commentary Number 1.
1. Announcing the Gayest Name Ever

ok like i said this iks my first story be nice plz

 **Oh yes, we'll be very fucking nice :)**

* * *

 **Hey guys, Rosebark here! Today, and over the course of maybe 2-3 weeks, I'll be doing a review of Starkit's Prophecy! Why am I doing this? I've never read this terror before, and I wanted a chance for you (un)lucky readers to see my reaction to this *fabulous* story.**

 **My notes will be bolded, usually in parenthesis.**

 **See you at the end!**

* * *

ALLIANCES

btw its set afte rsunset so **(Okay, it's already clear this wonderful lady is a professional author *clap clap* for the sake of my fingers and eyes, I'll only be typing the Thunderclan allegiances. Copy and paste didn't work, you see.)**

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom **(I'd like to point out that Jayfeather is the only cat with a capitalized suffix as well as prefix)**

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice Daisypaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace **(Daisy was an apprentice, but she was never Daisypaw.)**

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern - light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

IceFire-white she cat **(That name makes zero sense)**

ToadRibbit-black-and-white tom **(This name is very painful. You can tell where the author started using her own names instead of copying.)**

RoseFlame-dark cream she cat

BriarStorm-dark brown she cat

BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stripes **(Firestar must've hated Bumblestripe at the time... Bumbleflower is such a gay name. Sorry Bumbles.)**

BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwith a dark stripe along her spine

Apprentices:

Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace **(Erm...)**

FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one gmee eye one blue eye

LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

The last 2 r starKits siters **(Okay, Starkit needs babysitters.)**

JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail **(I thought she said the last two!)**

Queens:

Femcloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits

Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers' kits, formaly of Shadowclan **(For some reason when she says Dawnsparkle is formally from Shadowclan, it reminds me of Dawnpelt... DUN DUN DUN!)**

Kits:

StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed **(Grayish blue I can understand, but purple?! Orange should be amber, probably, and I don't think it's physically possible for a cat to have a star anywhere on its body, let alone its forehead.)**

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he cam to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0 **(Okay, he cat is not a term, and I don't think yellow eyes are possible either. Maybe they're just really rare.)**

LeafPool-brown tabby she cat **(WHY IS LEAFPOOL AN ELDER?!)**


	2. Bluestar is a Physic

Chpater oen prouloge

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into is eagerly. **(Because** ** _all_** **cats find enjoyment looking into a pool! Wheeee! Such fun!)** A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright.

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **(Bluestar must be a physic to be able to get that whole prophecy from a dark shape. Maybe I should call Bluestar to read my tarot cards.)**

"Its about StarKit!" A white tom said. "Shes going to save the forest,"He looked at a gold tom by Bluestar. "she has powers nobody dreamed of."Said the gold tom. **(Funny how they all automatically assume that the prophecy is about Starkit.)** "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know."

She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.

did u like it? plz tell me in urn review! **(I'm pretty sure an urn is a pot... 'plz tell me in pot review!' Oh. The author wants you to make a review on marijuana.)**


	3. Firestar's Shoulder Fetish

Chapter to the rose of a Heroin

ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l a pear soon dont worry. **(Oh please Jazzie-Kun! Don't get mad at me because I didn't put you in my shitty story! You'll become a pear soon, don't worry!)**

StarKit wock up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter mom wouldn't let her sleep not today. **(Huh. If my mom was made of butter I'd probably eat her.)**

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eyes shinning. "Today is important today." **(Math Teacher: Today is the pop quiz today.)**

"What is it Mom" said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh its my serimony today!" she squelled exercisedly. **(She squelled... exercisedly?)** Today was the day she was an apprentice!

She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot up to her quick.

"Sweety you know the clans don't except cat slike use sometimes." She said.

StarKit glared. She didn't lake being told that. Just because her Mom was a usedto be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather the medicine Cat is didn"t meanshe ws different! **(Um... yes it does. Plus you have purple fur. And a star on your forehead. She doesn't lake being told that, but oh well.)**

"StarPaw come here." Said FireStar from the leg. **(...)** He jumped down.

"StarKit it s tome for you to become an apentice: he said. "Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you." **(So um... StarKit is a mentor now?)**

Ever body gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!".

Firehert liked her shoulder. **(Firestar: Oh my, StarKit, you have such a marvelous shoulder!)** He whisper in her ear "youll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti." **(I know ti! I know ti!)**

Surprised she walked away when they were done howling for her./ Then she went ofer to JayFeathern and DawnSparkle who were very prod. **(I'm very prod of you, Starpaw! *pokes*)**

"Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit. "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **(Jayfeather must've gone nuts. Remember in the main books he would keep the prophecies to himself? Now he's telling them to a kit with purple fur.)**

StarPaw gasped. What does it mean?

lol I update fast dont I. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk

 **BRING IT ON, AUTHORESS! *takes out BB gun***


	4. Blackie-Baby is Super Tough

Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln

thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the story!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1 **(Sadly, readers, I realized that I cannot write such a good story as the authoress and I will be quitting FFN to cry in the corner. Oh yes, thank you Jazzie-Kun!)**

StarPaw walkd over too the apprentice's den. Insid she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw and hr frend JazzPaw **(I don't think 'Jazz' is a prefix.)** (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos.

"JazzPaw get up." She cried. Jazzpaw opend her brillianint blu eyes and looked at hr.

"Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me? she asked. **(Yo, Starpaw is a real hipster.)**

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten u pfrom the moss. They leavt and went two the entrnse too camp.

But then, a cat cam in thru the entrance! It was BlackStar!1!11

"Shadowclan are attaking!" She yelled. **(Did you ever stop to think that maybe Blackstar just wanted to speak with Firestar?)** All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran of. **(You did a great job protecting yourself, Blackie Baby! *hugs*)**

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!" **(*confetti* WHOOOOO STARPAW! You're even better that Sandstorm at throwing fits!)**

StarPaw was happy. She wus a good fighter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy meant.

tnnkx and ples no more flams **(Don't worry, everyone LOVES this fabulous story!)**


	5. Starpaw is the Next Scrouge

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star **(Wasn't the last chapter Chapter Three?)**

OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know. **(I feel sorry for Rainy Days.)**

Shadowclan run from the camp. StarPaw smiled. Shed one! **(Uh... shed one? Oh, she'd won)** Noone cod hurt her family now . **(Probably with a cod.)**

StarPaw!" said FireStar. "Its time we train!" I want to show you how to fight!" **(Um... didn't Starpaw supposedly just defeat the whole of Shadowclan?)**

"Ok." Sad StarPaw happl;y. "but yo just saw I culd fight, write?" **(Hipster Starpaw!)** "Well, ya." said FireStar. "But I wnted tol see if that was all you new."

"Ok." THey went to the frost togather and the other cats cleaned up the bodies. **(Wait... did she just say BODIES?! WHAT THE FUCK STARPAW IS A MURDERER!)** "Ok StarPaw" said Firestar one they got their. "we'll start with how to dog." **(Woof woof!)**

"Cmon ths too easy!" yelled StarPaw. Shed just beat BlackStar she was ready for anything! **(Poor Blackie-Baby... *hugs*)**

"ok Ok" mewled FiresTar, lets learn how to claw an oponit. **(I'm pretty sure that tar on fire is incapable of speaking. Plus, mewling is for kits.)**

"Ya." Yowled Starkit. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM time to attack. "She hit his side he didn't move he was to surprise.d she clawed him and he started bledding. **(That was a rather long sentence. Firestar, I'd expect you to be able to beat an apprentice!)** "wow StarPaw" he said".Your doing awesome." "Really?" gaped StarPaw. **(Gaped... like, a gaping hole?)** She didn't think she was doing that god was she relly special like the prophesy meowed? **(Um, you just clawed your leader and he bled. You're not doing good at all. I think the prophecy meowed wrongly.)**

"Yes StarPaw" Snarled Firestar. "I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg was did that before.," **(OMG, no way! Firestar is totally jealous of Starpaw! Because only she and Scourge were able to draw blood when fighting!)**

"OMGOSH REALLY?" asked StarPaw. Scourg?1? THE SCOURG? She dherad so muchj about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats. **(When I see dherad my mind automatically makes it 'diarrhea'ed xD)**

"I"M LIKE SCOURG? "I didn't mean it like that" FirePaw sad fastly. "I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaws so kawaii look at her eys and her fur. **(I seriously doubt that cats know what kawaii means.)**

"Oh ok thanks." They trained floor awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired. **(Poor Firestar.)**

"Hey Firestar can we hunt now" Said StarPaw. "im kinda hungry."

"Oh we'll if you want." **(Um... as a mentor, Firestar should be in charge, not that prissy little bitch.)** Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun. So they went hunting, StarPaw messed up a couple times but FireStar said it was okaysince it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_. **(First of all, I didn't think Starpaw was capable of messing up. Second, I am extremely disappointed in Firestar. There is no reason that Firestar should've taken a little tiny kit out hunting. It is against the rules and I thought that Firestar, of all cats, would enforce that rule.)**

Later that night StarPaw locked up at the stars. **(Erm... did they just stay out all day?)** She and Firestar had"d so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan. Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, "Do you think well ever be up there."

"Ya totally." Said JazzPaww. "I mean youll be l,eader and I'll be depudy one day well have too!" **(Because only leaders and deputies go to Starclan.)**

"Ya." Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!) **(Um... I wasn't going to say anything...?)** they were bestfriends. She loked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep wit the Starcaln voices whisper in her head. **(This was like the third time she looked up at the stars.)**

REVIEW R MY LIFE

(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could( **(OH MY GOD THE AUTHOR TRIED TO MAKE JAZZY AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK WAHHHH)**


	6. Look Mom! I'm Leafing!

Chapter For StarPaws decids

flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who doesnt like the stro is a staneiest cause StarGlPaw has such a strng conection with sTarcaln and that's why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS! **(That was very intense and highly offensive!)**

"StarPaw wok up its time 4 parole."

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eyes and locked arund. **(But I thought they were molting orange!)**

"Ohmigosh who wus that!1!1"Sshe yellow. **(She yellow. That one was reeeeeeaaaaal smart.)**

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip whispered in her er. StarPaw gottedup. **(First of all, if Graystripe was able to whisper in Starpaw's ear, she should've been able to seen him. Second, did she seriously say Graystrip?)**

"Ohmigosh Graystrip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Will u be my mat" hE ESked. **(Oh Starpaw, won't you be my mat? I need something for my guests to wipe their feet on when they come over to visit!)**

"OMigosh grayStripe that's so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me."

"wel then hes jst an idot." **(XD lolllll)**

y do u say tha?" yelled STARPaw GayStrip locked at hr meanly. **(hAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD SHE SAID GAYSTRIP AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)** "i dont lik him" sqeakd GrayStripe he locked arund fastly. "hes a mean cat!

"OHMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED. **(Why does Starpaw think when you say 'mean' or 'good fighter' it automatically means Scrouge? SHELLY IRRITATED.)**

"No ur much prtter then sourg" said Graystripe he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat." he yeleled.

"Well mabey. but what would FireStar say?" she whispered. GrayStripe locked around agan. "I dont think he wuld mind." said GraStri;e

"OMIGOSH SUR THAN!" StarPaww yelleded happly.

"Wat ar uo ta;lin abut" saidFireHert he was walkin up. He locked angrily. **(What you talkin' abut?)**

"oh uhhhhhh nothing FireStar go back to sleep!" mwled StarPaw hoppin he would leaf so she culd be alon with grayStripe. **(And do what exactly...?)**

"Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!" cherrid GrayStripe but Firestar didn't leave instead he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate."

"oh uh yeh. yelled STARPaw but he didn;t leaf instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11 **(Look Mom! I'm leafing!)**

"I Want to be wit her!" said FireHart attakin GraySriep.

"No I do!' shouted. **(Shouted... who?)**

"gusys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats! StarPaw whispered apply like seCert."

"No we can't do that their can only be 1!11 Howled Firestar. "Otterwies youll chet on us."

"So StarGleam, who will u pik?" giggled GayStipe.


	7. A Bad Case of Explosive Diarrhea

Chapter Five Untidles **(I seriously have no idea what this is supposed to say O_O)**  
UR OLL JUST SAINTS y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again

StarPaw sad "I..i….." she was so foncusded! Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do? They we beoth handsome and althing, but bot had matss! **(Well they need better doormats, it's that fucking simple you nitwit!)** Nhd she luvved them both! FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot. GayStirpe was so funny and col. **(Graystripe has the sense of humor of an 8-year old girl.)**

"!" said StarPaw ass she ruan in to the forest. **(And how do you pronounce '!' without sounding like you're having a seizure?)** It wus to muck# she culdnt choss! **(Hey, did the idea of rejecting them ever come across you?)**

She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader. Oih no she thugh Shadowclan will get me. "wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar s he waked up.

"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit I didn't men too!'

That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons perfeck." **(Good job, Blackie Baby! You're so understanding!)** "no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed. "StarClan is.""Waht do you mena?" wemed BlackStar. **(Wemed? What the fuck is wemed?)**

"well the give us all this halpand stuff" said Starpaw. "without them we wold be lust." She said. **(Yep. With out Starclan to control you animals you would just be fucking all day. Wheeee, fun!)**

"I gess that's ter " balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.

"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo are." **(Um... so is Starpaw perfect or is Blackstar perfect?)**

'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?" **(I'm really glad Starpaw was able to see that Blackstar was trying to molest her, but I'm still waiting for her to notice that Firestar and Graystripe were doing the same thing a few sentences ago.)**

"e—" BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick **(Does Blackstar have fucking mental problems or something?)**

"no" she Sid "I don't doned another tom after me!" "I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy!

"but yor pahfect." Said Blackstar. "you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE " **(No, Blackie Baby, she's far from perfect, and you're just a wuss anyways.)**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst. **(Huh. Starpaw must have explosive diarrhea.)** Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. **(Um... yeah. If tears are running down your face you are in fact crying.)** 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"


	8. Jayfeather and Starpaw are Pervs

Chapter Six Desions,  
STUP GLAMING!11! IF YOU'R AN FLAM,E YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL! **(GLAME GLAME GLAMING!)**

LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:; **(This is a story, not a television show.)**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. She wus so depresedded! Hu was seh sapost to pik?/?/ Then she saw JayFethre cumin thru the forst tords her. **(Fuck, Jayfeather, you sick bastard.)**

"JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do she yelled their are three toms atref me! TREEE!"!

i know" sed jayFethr he locked happy. "thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling. **(And if I get an F in all of my classes it means I'm failing.)**

"NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM" sed StarPaw back waling upst. "I DON'T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1"

"wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y said JayFeathern and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked." **(You sick, sick, bastard.)**

"hu where they sad StarPaw snifing.

"theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/ saud JayFeather.

"OMG STICK wispred StarPaw "YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK? She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.

"Wat did you do? she esked thoug cuase she was crios. **(Starpaw you little perv.)**

Wel I culdn have kids with a stcik now culd i?" said JayPaw and he locked confuded. LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn.

"sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi. **(I wouldn't be happy that the only reason that I exist is because my father couldn't have kids with a stick.)** "but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?

"Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit/" **(Go be a lesbian with Jazzpaw or something. Hey, you said you loved her.)**

Hmm StarPaw taught for a secund. FireStar!" she yelldd and then run of to tel him that she ;oved him **(...or just be incest and have kits with your Great Grandfather.)**

NO FLAMSE!1!12!1 **(*roasts marshmallow*)**


	9. Hollyleaf Joined WindClan

Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1  
STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving **(Oh yes, thank you Jazzpaw!)**

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?"

 **("Fuck off Starpaw, I'm busy... with Lakepaw, of course.)**

"nut ow StarOaw" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!' **(I totally called it.)**

"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw. **(Really did NOT need that image in my mind.)**

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. "

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed! **(Nope. Shadowclan invading the camp every five minutes is just training for incase we actually have a war.)**

"Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam. But it wass ok she newt wht wus best. **(Waitwaitwaitwait... Sandstorm was only** ** _sorta_** **sad that Firestar loved Starpaw? And she definitely didn't give a shit wen Dustpelt died!)**

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!"

 **("Fuck you bitch go back to the nursery.")**  
"Oak" said Firestar. **(Oak!)** He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!"

"Tday we are making a new Warrior."

The calnn GASPED! **("That bastard?")**

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. **("We're going on strike!")** They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.

Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life! **(What about when you were out with Firestar?)**

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d.

"oak." Eh sad. **(Oak.)** "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness." **(STARPAW! I absolutely LOVE your new warrior name! And also your pelt that sings like the stars!)**

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They

StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!" **(She was an apprentice for 5.14 days, she can't say 'at last.')**

"FireScar," she said, cuming over 2 him. **(Oh good fucking god.)** "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.

Dos he knew? StarGlema think.

"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.

"I….."

WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.

It was…. **(Onestar?)**

HOLYLEAF! **(Oh, darn! I got it wrong.)**

I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!  
 **(YOU HEARD THE LADY, REVIEW NICE! *gets out blow torch*)**


	10. Firestar the Incest Bastard

Chatter NEIN Teh Evil Tigger and holY **(TIGGER YOU EVIL BASTARD!)**  
I SAID NO FLAMES! YOUR JUST JELOS YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS IS OYUR SAVER

"Ohno its HolyLeaf!" yelled FireStra he ranned away. SandStrom wnet aftre him.

StarGlaem locked up. HolyLeaf was stnding their and their was anodder chat with hr.

"OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR!" she hossed. "WHTA WIL WE DO!" **(PANIC! IT'S TIGGERSTAR!)**

"we figt." saud Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf. **(But Jayfeather is the damn medicine cat!)** StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked at JayFather and kiled him with one shot. **(Why the fuck would Hollyleaf kill her brother?)**

"YOU KILDED MY FTHER! she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf. **(NOOOOOOO HOLLYLEAF YOU KILDED JAYFEATHER!)** HollyPaw gut out of the way and StarPaw attaked TiggerSar.

"U killed TigerStra!" uelled FiresStar he locked happy. "You are speshil!"

StarGleam was sooo happy, she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way.

"OH NO" yelled StarKit. "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM! **(I feel sorry for Hollyleaf now. Heck, Firestar will probably get Hollyleaf pregnant! He's all about incest!)**

a cilf hunger1!111! see im a god riter i no what thta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER **(*clap clap* You really are such a great writer!)**


	11. Hollyleaf the Ho Bear

Chapter Ten The Recluse

"EVERONE FALLOW ME" meowled StarPleam as see charred for th3 entranse to eh camp. **("FUCK YOU BITCH GO AWAY!")** Tares stremmed down her face1 she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn. "FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT MOM LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. **(Didn't Dustpelt die? And... Loinblaze? Like... loin cloth?)** "I NEDD A PAROL."

The run into the frost their pass working fastly. She wood kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar for what thed don! **(But Tigerstar was dead too!)**

She batlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats. **(Whooo! Use that nose, bitch!)** Her heat burneded!

Sune they had funded them. They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. "HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. "IVE GOT YOU KNOW!"

StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!" she scemmed "FalmePawgo!" she said.

Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me." **(Maybe because you made no effort to cover your tracks...?)** She dogged at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.

"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled LakePaw seing her sisters about too die. "I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW." She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.

HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down.

"NOOOO!1!11" StarPaw screamed. "FLAMEAPWWW!" She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. "I lofe you StarGleam." She wisperd before er blue I's cosed. **(The author actually said 'her blue I's closed.' I's. That is a new fucking low.)**

"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL" shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!

"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree! I have pows beyound ur emaginating!" nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE!

"Gasped" gasped everyone. It was a bare! **(Not a bear!)**

"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly. **(I'm not even going to say anything.)**

"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly. "I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!" **(Are you fucking serious this little bitch hasn't ever been out of camp? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CAT'S MENTOR!)**

"U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw."

Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter on her back and run.

"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf! "Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem! **(I think Hollyleaf should see a doctor for her volcano erection...)**

Everone! Gasped! "NOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."

Everyone jumped at the HoBare! **(DIE HO BEAR! DIEDIEDIEDIE!)** The bare rared in pane! Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared. **(I want to understand how a cat is overpowering a fucking bear! A FUCKING BEAR!)**

"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay." Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw! **(WHAT THE FUCK LAKEPAW IS A ZOMBIE!)**

"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" SHE SAD

WHT SAID SPARGLAME. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer eyes.

….

THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS! **(AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I totally never fucking saw that coming -_-)**

the next chatter wil coke soon! AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD.  
 **(I DO BELIEVE IN GOOD! *cries* THERE ARE NO EVIL PEOPLE! ONLY EVIL THINGS SCARED PEOPLE DO! *cries some more*)**


	12. The Sassy Bitch Wears Nail Polish

Catter 1 The Fiht Aganst the Sitters 1  
"Oh nose!" yellded StarPaw she wus so horrorifed. **(OH NOSE!)** "LakePaool is buck and seh is NUT OKA!" **(No, Lakepaw is most definitely NOT Oka Ruto.*anyone get the reference?*)**

"Of coarse im not okay!" LakeFall screchemd loadly she issed at StarGlame. "I'm being posesd by HolyLeaf wut do you THINK!" she yelddl and hulrd hesselv at StarPaw. StarGlme was so surpissed she culdn;t mofe **(I'm pretty fucking sure that if you were being possessed you wouldn't be able to tell someone that you were being possessed.)**

Then... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was...

REDPAW! Redpaw runnth over to StarPaw and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm hit her insta. **(WHO THE FUCK IS REDPAW?!)**

"Nuu Redpaw!" chked StarGlamea and she locked at RedPaw. "RedOaw are yu okayo?" she esked upsed. RedPaw cughed. "No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif! she sed and then he did. StarFlame locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly then StarGleam shock her hud. "No Im STRREET!" she taught madly. "but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!" she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED! **(I did not understand a word in that... sentence. Paragraph. Nightmare.)**

"NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR!" wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to.

"StarGlame I will get u for thiss11 sed LakePaw as SatinClaw drag away to hellClan. He waswerng oink naie Polish. then StarGlame stinted to crry as she realed that her sitter ass ded. **(The author just said Satinclaw... and Hellclan... and that Lakepaw wears nail polish?)**

"you killd my Subjt!" HolyLeaf rared turng back in a bare. "Ilus get you for thi!" she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame. "Oh o!" yelld every1 "tarPaw got our of the Way!"

Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem run awy from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR!" **(*screams* TIGGER YOU BASTARD!)**

"Fuhrstar! yellded a TiggerStraw. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW! **(What, are you fucking Hitler now?)**

"Omg jyew!" elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. "But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.

"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled FamePaw. "Now the yew is gunna wkr!

"Ete the yew!" sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked away. "You're never get moi to ete it!" she esked and then she held "YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!"

"are you so sur?" aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. "Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. "Im gong to Shadowcaln!" And then he luf. **(I really don't see what the yew... or the newt had to do with anything.)**

Guyx I ben working relly hard on this wile I was gon. im sor'ry for the wait. Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick

 **(YOU HEARD THE LADY AGAIN, REVIEW BETTER!)**


	13. Let's All Take A Moment

Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest  
"NO!" yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw. but he was to fat. **(Yeahyeah! Tigerstar is too fat for Starpaw to catch up with!)** She cudlnt catch up. Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed and tigerstar had ExcapeD!

"y am I so ulsess?/?/' she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her?" **(Because you're not a perfect baby anymore, bitch.)** "its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" SHE SAID JUMPED.

It juts me. " said JayWing waking to bedside her. "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." "what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."

"hes in the Dakr Froset!" said JayFeather. **(BUT JAYFEATHER DIED! This story has too many zombies.)** "hess allready ded!" oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.

"we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger." Mewled Jayfeater. "tack me their!" sad StarGleam.

She slepped and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark. **(No dip, genius. It say 'Dark' in the name.)** Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar! **(GASP)**

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln" he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw she jumped at him. she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there! "TIGERSAR WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. **(WHO IS BLACKSTRIPE)** TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare! **(*country accent* Life isn't fair, little missy!)**

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder. **(A wand... on her shoulder?! Maybe Firestar will like her shoulder even more now!)** It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her. **(You have got to be fucking kidding me. DON'T GO TO THE DARK SIDE HAWKFROST!)**

He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing. "it was turning balkc. "I love you seh said as she did. **(What? Starpaw had no fucking clue that Hawkfrost loved her! EEEEEERRRRRRRG THIS STORY IS IRRITATING ME!)**

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!

 **(Let's all take a moment here.**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **Who am I kidding?! To anyone who's made it this far-**

 **I'M HOSTING A PARTY IN THE REVIEW SECTION!)**


	14. Yellowfang You Idiot

Cahpter 13 The Metang wit Sartcaln  
"Omigish what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan?" she eskes when she say the cats that she new.

"No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!" gagged a gray he-cat. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. "Wher else wood you be?" **(Uh... the Dark Forest. Like you already said.)**

"Yuo dont need to be so red! said StarGlame she was mad."

sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made." **(YELLOWFANG YOU TRAITOR! NEVER APOLOGIZE TO THAT BITCH!)**

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest so...HOW DID I DYE? **(Hmm... probably at the hair dresser.)**

"TigerStra killed you" said BlueeStar cumin over to her. "he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret" **(That doesn't make any sense, Bluestar. Did you take your pills?)**

"Wait so then I'm died?" StarGlame. "What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!"

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" saud WhitStrip. "But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first."

"Omg what is it" lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe." "I wnat to knew" **(Who the fuck is Joe...)**

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. "their the ten commons!"

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?" **(The Ten Fucking- just nevermind.)**

"Ya" said BleuStar "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!"

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her. **(Okay, you can't just fucking leave Starclan! Get back here and die, bitch!)**


	15. They Already Broke A Rule

Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments  
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie. "SLL CATS GATER" she sadi. They cats gatehred. "I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/" she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. "Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan." She said. They loked at the roxk.

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters

2\. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits. **(Those poor grandkits.)**

4\. don't say Starcclan in vane.

5\. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1. **(You should see my fucking face. It looks like this: :O)**

6\. Repsect our mom and dad.

7\. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e **(I think Stargleam broke that rule a couple times already.)**

8\. don't br unfateful to our mat. **(But mats are for stepping on!)**

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.

10\. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.

10\. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh.

11\. No BENG GAY!f **(...)**

The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!" Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING **(*shrieks* THEY'RE BREAKING A RULE)**


	16. Redpaw Gets Cookies Later

Cohpter Fiften THE TURTH  
StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. "WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/" she esked. "The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11

"But I love her!1" said LakePol.(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING) **(Yeah, I bet it fucking is!)**

"But its agant the ten commdnents!" saud StarPaw. She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. "Do you WANT to go the dark foret?"

"Yes?" ansed RedPaw. **(Good job Redpaw. You get cookies later.)**

"No you dont" said StarGleam "it'sa relly horribld place." I kno, Ive been their!"

Were sory said RedPaw and lakePolw. They locked sadly. "We wont do it agan." **(Liars!)**

"I hope not" said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. "We have to show this to the rets off the calns.

"ok said FireStar" "we should go to the Gathern."

"If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off the commendments to the other claans1" gagged StarGlame happ;y. "Cmon lets go!" She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern! **(I don't think 'gagged' is an appropriate... word here.)**

"ATENSION ALL CATS" she yelled lepping to the HighRock. ?"I NEDD YOU'RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER" **(Just who does this bitch think she is?!)**

"Omg what is it!11!1" shocked MitsyFoot. "Is it imptent!" **(I'm pretty sure cats don't say OMG.)**

"Yes of cors its imptent!111!1"! yellded StarGleam "or else I wuldnt be hear!" "I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!" She red the ten commons ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her. Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly." "We sont sin again!"

"God" said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke. She saw FireStar cumin threw the crowed towed jer. "StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me at this1 you should be letter. Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!" he said and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. "You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. Ill go with you and so will JayFather." **(JAYFEATHER IS DEAD!)**

"Kawaii" said StarGlema happly. They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her,

So hod u guys lik eit? it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part. HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams! Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh ull go 2 hekc. thx guys for the god reveis. !  
 **(Oh, you're very welcome! *gets flamethrower***


	17. Jayfeather Likes Stargleam's Perfume

Chaper Sixteen The Nane Lifes  
But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing theri was a nose from the bushs and Shadwclan spring out!2! **(Why is there a two in there?)** their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind (there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books) and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt  & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors. **(Um... okay.)** StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise. What ere they going t do? "StarGlaw" said Blackstar sadly. "U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!" jhe said. **(No it wouldn't!)**

"Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny." You cant fihtg feat.'

"No!" he meowled. "I don't want to loose you!" "Its oky" sad FireHeart he was called that new sinch he wasnt ladder, he hadnt leafed yeat. "Ya" sad GaryStripe "we lofe her to"

"ok" sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked away. StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. Se didnot want 2 dell with this wright now. **(I seriously have no idea what to say.)**

StarGleam mead LoinBalze her depudy he take the clkan back to camp. Her and JayFeather and FireStar walked to the MoonPool. **(What the fuck Jayfeather is still dead!)** "I cant belive it sadi StrGleam. "I can." Said JayFeater he was smelling StarPaw **(Why was Jayfeather smelling Starpaw...?)** almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour! "Your a grate leddar StarGleam ive always none since the first day I saw yo."

"Relly." She aksed. "Relay," he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time she was really happy! Shed had someny toms chating after her but now this would be Oka!

They were closed to the MoonSnot now. **(MoonSnot? That's great.)** StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her? **(You were already in Starclan before... so...)**

They went ot the MoonPolo. It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. "im so produ of you," said FireTar his gaze tinkling. StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter.

It was dark! StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. 'like me' she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed. **(How can Stargleam see the star if it's on her forehead...?)** Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11!

"Are ou reedy" shouted on of them frob the front. "yes sad starKit whe was turbling with exitmente!

"ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. 'Bullstar' wispered StarGleam ahstruck. "With this live I gave you liedership said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled. **(This is getting harder and harder to understand.)**

"With this life I give you corrage" said YellowFag storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles!1 **(Not the needles!)**

BambleCalw came nex. He put his mose on StarGleam's forehed. **(WAIT A SECOND BRAMBLECLAW IS DEAD)** It hurt lick TiggerSTars class! **(Did you mean to say... It hurt lick Tigerstar's ass?)**

WithStorm stambled over next. "Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan."

LeaveWind cam on to her. "Wit this life i give u nolledge." It hurt like fier!1 **(Who's Leavewind?)**

She god a liff rom BundleFace form motherlinest a life from TailStar for qiickness, & a life for StoneFur for bravvery. She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it! **(?)**

And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1 **(GASP! A LINO!)**

SatrGleam GASP! "This is ThunderStar" mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan! OR it was called LoinClan." **(Thunderstar was NOT a Lion! Thunderstar was a ginger tom with white paws!)**

StarPaw coudnt breath? She was so exited and so onered! "I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar she said in ah. "Its meh" said the lion. He toched his mastiff nose to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor! StarGleam thougth she would de! "With his life I give o HEAR. You have a realy strong heat bfour but is even stornger now, thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan

doo witouth you Now I will giv you a namr."

"Wat!" shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. "I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped! I want to be called GleamStsr!"

"Fery well" said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!' **(Why the fuck would Thunderstar listen to this little bitch?)**

Butt as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO! Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf were there! In her vishon! **(OH NO! NOT HOLLYLEAF AND THE DEAD TIGGERSTAR!)** She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing! And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!1!1! It was… HACKFROST! He made all the bad stuff disapare.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!" yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11! **(Why not?)**


	18. Firestar Leaves to Join SkyClan

Chapter 17 Returnr  
StarGleam shock her head waling up from the derm. FireStar was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid. "GlaeStar you were takling in yuour slept are you ok?" he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.

 **("No, I just realized that I'm a fucktard and I can't be leader.")**

"Yeah yeah Im fin" StarGleam reponded gettin up. "I just had a badd dream thass all." "It's nothen."

"If your sur." Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool and headed back too the Thundercaln camp.

"GleamStar your back!" they said happy, crowding all over her. LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad thou, becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv. **(I shipe LakepawxRedpaw!)** But GleamSar ingored them. But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.

"LinoBlaz" she said locking for her deputy. "I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder," "I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know." she said and she turnd and walked over the keader's den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. "Guysz let me to to bed" she said shoeing them awy. /"Let me have a niche to myself!" **(Yeah guys, let the leader have a niche to herself!)**

They all walked away groabling. "She nevwr let's us have any fun" said BeryNoise. "Thats not kawaii at all." **(Poor Berrynose.)**

GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. "I'm levving" he said and he lef. StarGleam followed him uyelling "WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?"

"Well I cant be ledder so I'm just goint to leaf for a while. Maybe Ill be a rogue, or maybe I'll go join skyCaln. Who knows?" Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due. **(Have fun joining Skyclan, you stupid ginger fucktard.)**

"Its oka StarStar" said HawkFrot appearating out of nonwhere. "I mean I love you so its all god." **(Hawkfrost you traitor! You belong with ME!)**

"I no" said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him. And now they could be togethier!/ **(Why the fuck is Hawkfrost a rouge?)**


	19. Everyone Loves Jazz Music

Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1 **(I don't know what 'deat' is...)**  
StarKit weak up shed been asleep. Their was ayoll from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. "I gott to kill ou: somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR! **(I totally saw that coming. I can't even sarcastic-gasp.)**

"Ttlu." Said HollyLefa meanly from his ides. **(Does Hollyleaf have a mental problem? "Ttlu.")** GLEAM STAR welled "GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE" she coldu hander it heself.

"No" said BarkFall "we elov you somuch StarGleam we could'nt leafe u" NAD THE CATS FOUT! **(Everyone loves Gleamstar... why aren't I surprised?)**

HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX! GlameStar surpised. She jopped! But it was too latte!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! She clawed him They're was bold. "noooooo" said GleamStart. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly thohth HawkForts. **(What)**

"its oyak StarGleam." said LionBealz. "I doe for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness."

"LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" said StG;eamStar. gasp. **(XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD)** was here clan bevoming quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!

"NOOP" said GleamStar, "HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU." **(Gleamstar doesn't have a brother...)** She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf! HollyFale lagged and run "its to lare" she meowled "lock behind u"

StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya. "get pout of here Hacky-kin" she sad its too danheros" "iie" 9meanes no) said Hawkyfrost. "I lobe you my daer I wan't live you." **(I seriously can't understand any of this!)**

But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly. "you mayt have defted ous this time," his said "but nest time well be STORNGER." Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!

"since LionBleaze deid said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. JazzPaw cum hear. JazzPaw came. **(Lol I did not need that image in my mind)** "JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey." JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ! "JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. **(Jazzsong? You're fucking kidding me, right?!)** Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: she was mean bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley. They new he was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all. besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai when she was mad her eyes robbled. She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS? **(Whoo, go Hawkfrost! Break those commandments!)**

Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers. I was tiered the last one was log

 **(Huh. This chapter was log, everyone. *I noticed these chapters are getting more boring... I'll try and fix that.*)**


	20. Hawkfrost Gets Married

19 The Mirage 1!  
The nex mourni StarGleam wock up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her. **(Whoo, I wonder what they did last night!)** She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt.

"JazzSong RedPaw LakePaw FlamePelt your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader." She said and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.

"HawkFrost lets get marred." **(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! CATS DON'T KNOW WHAT FUCKING MARRIAGE IS!)** She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys.

"Oh sweat that's a freat idea! he said." Sould we talthe claN?"

"Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up." She left the den and HawkfOrst was folowig. "Let All Vats Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin! **(I'm convinced that everyone in this story has a mental problem.)**

They all gathered even though Milloe was upset that BriadPaw had been hurt. (a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111")

"HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!" yelld StarPaw happ;y. Everone startwf crapping! **(They all shit themselves in either terror or joy. Probably terror.)** They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat. **(Oh Hawky, you'll be a perfect doormat!)**

"Do you knw what we shuld do?" called out BubPaw and StarGleam didn't want to listen to him because he was stpid (a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1) but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him. **(Bubpaw? Bubpaw?)** "What is ist BubmFlit" she esked lokoking at the he cat.

"We should go annunce it at the Gathern!" he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin. But when they got there... they saw... BullStar was dead! In his palsh was... FLAMESTAR! **(Bullstar... if you meant Bluestar, she was already dead. And who the fuck is Flamestar?)**


	21. Blackstar Commits Swissicide

Chapter 19 The Nwe Love  
Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! StarKesus is ur saver y cant u just eccept that. Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty! **(Sure you are. *rolls eyes*)**  
Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey **(I love you Jazzie-Bear!)**  
gasped! 'What are ou doing her FireStar" she  
said.

"I tock over ShaderClan" he said happly. "I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. The told me that BlakStar was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide." **(Swisscide: it's like suicide; but with cheese.)**

"OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN" SIAD StarGleam.

"i know rite." said FierStart "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat." **(HOLY FUCK BLACKSTAR YOU PERVERT!)**

GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun were geting marred! And she was happy again.

She run towreds the HighOka a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was  
bcause she is happy. HawkFirst throgut.

"Cast of all clasn!" se yewled. "I have an nounce!"

"what is it ledder" they all said.

"HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!"

The clcats cherred in saw and happy! Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet. **(You toms are so understanding!)**

"let the marrige begin"

But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose! "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE" sdi a vice from Abobe! **(Is Abobe an alien clan or something)**

"Starclan?" sad GleamSyar?

"No." said the vice. "its…THE DAK FROSET!"

And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam! **(*clap clap***

It hurt.

AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1!  
1!/

SHE wock up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. "blackstar" she siad wanderin if hed' wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she wandered she didn't know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest! **(When a place is black all around automatically assume Blackstar is behind it.)**

She shaw a shap in the dirtence. "BackStar?" shse seda. "its meh starGleam

Then the cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR! **(*gasp* ASSFUR!)**

Ashfir locked aht her. "gigle" he said "glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?" **(You're fucking kidding me, right?)**

"NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam. **(I love how she added a bunch of 9s after the No...)**

He looked sad. "what do u mena" he said. **(Dude, she means she's not interested. I thought after the whole Squirrelflight situation you'd understand that.)**  
And then… was BROCKENSTAR? **(NOT YOU TOO BROKEN-BABY!)**


	22. God Damn You, Bluestar and Fallen Leaves

Chapter 20 STARCALN  
"Oh no Broakcnstar!" yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!" **(Well why the fuck not? I love Brokenstar!)** And sheran away leaving AshFurt behin her. She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!" **(You can't just run to Starclan, bitch.)**

"Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1! she thought happly and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1

"Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn she was stnding ther with LefPool, BrambleClan, SpottedLeaf and BakSrae.

"Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !" Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all. **(Fuck.)**

"Of course not" BlackStar relipe. "wy would i be their I mean I luv tou after tll2!"

"well thats tru" reoidned Gleamstar. "but I can't be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!"

"well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar and she said "but we cant send you back to the calns again, this time it locks like we'll have to REINCART YOU." **(NO NO NO WHAT THE FUCK BLUESTAR NO NO NO NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING)**

"Omh Reincartion!" yelled StarGam "you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?"

"Yah" said CinderPelt comin yp to her "thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt." She Said. **(Cinderpelt wouldn't be there if she was- nevermind.)**

"But it might be awhile" said SpottedPool "after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl} "go do somethinm elese"

"okay" siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body.

"StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" je yowle. "Starcaln how ould you od this to me!" "We were about to get marti. **(I feel only a little sorry for Hawkfrost.)**

"Im sorry Hawk Frost" said StarGleam "I'll be back soon I think"!

"Wat whose there?" HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing.

"Its me GleamStar" said GleamStra looking at him.

"I cant see yo" he said and he buped into a tree. Then he fele down. **(Hah what a stupid idiot!)**

"bye HawkForst!" said StarGleam and she left cius she didn' want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest wock up so she luf.

"hi their StarGlema" said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. "Whose there!1!11!" she eked and it was... Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111 **(NO NOT FALLEN LEAVES TOO! GET AWAY FROM THAT PURPLE FURRED MONSTER!)**


	23. The Terrible, Horrible, Recarination

Chatpre 21 The Purtle **(What the fuck is a purtle O_O)**  
Felled Leaf what hare you doing here" said StarGlean. "I'm here to dilevere a propheci." He he said."I allredy kow about the propheco." she siad. "out of the darknedd, stargl will come and get rid of the evil tigger and holy." "Thast not one I mean." Said Falleb Leaf. "I mean….theyr are dayk throats in the forst." **(Go away, Fallen Leaves. Nobody wants another prophecy.)**

"w?" said GlStarGleam **(W?)** "U see ther are still cast who dont belive in Starclan." "WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY" "The Dork Forest is tacking over theri minnds. Said Falled Leave. There using ClodTail and MotWig tu help them. So you must…. Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##! Weave all ben watting for you GleamStar." And then he luft. **(NOOOOOOOOOOO CLOUDTAIL! NOOOOOOOOO MOTHWING! AND TO THINK I HAVE 20 MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS!)**

Starlgeam dint have any tim to thick=====think becuse some1 called her nam!

"STarGleam" called SpotedLeaf. "Its time for you to b riencarted." **(NO NO NO NO NO NO NO SPOTTEDLEAF WHAT ARE YOU DOING)** "YAY" said Gleamstar. Thery was a portle. She locked at the portel. It was suierling 7 brihte. "Go in thru there" siad BallStar. He loked said that Stargleam codnt be with him but she new hed be ok. She nugled him he felled better.

then she wandred what woldu happen. "We ont know for sure." omitted BeluStar. "But it worked b4 itl wokr agaen.'

StarGkeam was abuut to step into the purtel ehwn…. SHFUR!11!

"NO" HE SAID" I WNAT HER FOR HIMSELF" "quick StarGleam getting" said hestering towered the portle

Justs as she was about to jup in….. HawkAShfur pussed aginst her! She was nocked forwered into the suirling purtle!111

She lookced back to se….ASHFUR Had cum BACK ThRU TO1!11!1 **(YAY ASHFUR!)**


	24. Didn't See That One Coming

**Hi there readers-**

 **Before we begin our regularly scheduled chapter, I'd like to say thanks to my reviewers.**

 **To Toaster Stroodal: First of all, I'd like to say thanks for not only getting me to look for a copy-n-paste Starkit's Prophecy, but also for the name of your commentary xD. I'd also like to say thank you for being by my side through the tough times, and for always being that fun and cool hyper Toaster that I love NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS! (xD). You've just always been incredibly supportive to me and all of your friends. So thanks.**

 **To Shatterstorm-A Thunder Warrior: I'd like to thank you for explaining to me why Leafpool is an elder, and also I'm glad that you think this is funny. I was a little unsure heading into this, but I'm just grateful that I'm making people laugh.**

 **To ahahhahaAHHAHHHA (guest): First of all, your name was a nightmare to type (xD). I'd like to say thanks for making me laugh in your review. I have yet to figure out who Whitestripe is (other than the rock duo that you mentioned), but I will definitely try and tell you as soon as possible. Oh yeah, and also nobody cares about who the fuck Joe is.**

 **To wait (guest): I feel incredibly ashamed that I had to google what apparate meant. I haven't read Harry Potter, so yeah... ANYWAYS... yes, Hawkfrost is secretly one of the most skilled wizards, so of course he can apparate.**

 **And finally, to TheReviewer (guest): Thank you for informing me that yellow eyes in cats are extremely common. I should mention that I googled pictures of cats with yellow eyes to confirm your fact.**

* * *

NextChapter  
oka im back! i saw the good reviews some ppl gave me and i wnated to come back. Also my friend JazzPaw is helping wit the chapters she healped me with the first tow but after that she didnt' have internte but hse got it back now. :DDDDDDDDD **(Good job Jazzie-Kun! You probably fixed your whole internet router by yourself just like Gleamstar would've done if she had an internet router to fix.)**

Then StarKit wock up and she was in the forest.

"Mew" she said becuse the sould'nt talk becuse the was a kit.

"Hello kitty" said her mother and StarKit lookd up.

Her mother... was HolyLeaf!" **(I'm going to be honest, I didn't see that one coming.)**

"t!" said SatrKit. She lokce around to see whar she was.

"Were in the Donderclan camp" said HolyLeaf "oh look here comes yourfather now!" **(Donderclan... I'm going to assume she meant Thunderclan... right?)**

Into the nursey came... TigerSar! **(Didn't really see this coming either.)**

StarKit new ther was soemthing she should no about TiggerStar but she didnt know wat.

"Thass your daddy TiggerStar!" said HolyLef. **(I'm pretty fucking sure that Tigerstar was long dead before Hollyleaf was even born... so Hollyleaf is interested in REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLY old men then. Or maybe spirits.)**

"I no that nam" though StarGit but she could thing about it becuse HolyLeaf said "Their are other kits out there go aly with them I have to takl to TigerSar in peace/

StarKit wnet out into the clering and the cats wer stnding over the body of StarStar. StarKit locked arund to see who els was in the clring. Then she saw RedPaw and lakePool sitting by the side sad'y with ther tals line.d.

"I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein plebian?" saud StarKit speking her firt sors. **(Just because their tails were twined it doesn't mean they're lesbians!)**

"How would yoyu no" said LakePawl gettin defend. "Yur just a kit!"

"Your rigt" said StarKit "how do U no?" **("How do you know I'm just a kit?")**

"Your HolylEaf's kid right?" ekd RedPaw. "I think Book and StormFur also had a kit, I think his name is AshKit." **(For some reason it struck me hilarious that the authoress said Book and Stormfur.)**

"Yuou should go see him" said JayFethr. StarKit new ther was sumthing familr about him to but she could't remembr what!1!1!1 **(Hey wait a minute... if Hollyleaf and Tigerstar just killed Gleamstar then why are they accepted into Thunderclan?)**

"Yse I will thanz" relld. StarKit and she went bok to the nursry. She saw AshJit but she dint get to takl to him becuse then ther ewas a yell from abobe the camp. **(What?)** "HAHA LAQWL" yelld a locked up. On on sid she saw YellowFagn BrambleCawl, LeafPolo, **(Leafpolo!)** Wiit Storm and BlueStra and on the other were HolyLeaf and TigerStar!

"Its a war betwen Starcaln and the Dark Forest!" said LinoBlaze and then... StarKit realeid... her mom and dad... wee EVUL! **(AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH oh wait I already fucking knew that.)**


	25. The

Chapter 23 The **(Can I just say what a GREAT title this is?!)**  
The Starlan warriors stared attakihg the camp! And… at eh head of them…. WAS FIRESTAR! **(Starclan was attacking camp? STARCLAN ARE THE GOOD CATS! *starts crying* ERINS YOU LIED TO ME!)**

Yewls shotuted all around Starkit. She run arundo she didnt kno what to do!11! then a warrori ran up she clawed him. Blood porred down his sholder wher she clawed him. He yelled and run away.

I can fight! Thouht Stargleam! She jumped at cat who was rruning he felled abckwered he did. She was godo at thes!11! But how did she know how ti fight? It was a mistery.! **(How the fuckity fuck is a fucking kit fighting a fucking Starclan warrior?)**

Then a warrier cam up to her! he was very big ans StarPaw was afraid. She didn't know if hse cold fight a cat liek him! He clawed her er there was red stuff cumming out of her era. **(Oh fuck it's blood you oblivious bitch!)** "owch" said Starkits he was mad now!11! Anger borned in her chest. She runa at him she clawed him real hard he yowled in pan! **(PAAAAAAAAAAN!)** Then she bit him on the throught more blood came out. He cocked then died. **(He cocked... then died?)**

Nd then….. she looked up and there was Starclan warriers running into the camp! There was CorFeather nad his bother EggleWing (ididnt mack hem up oka!11! Craw Feather relly had a brother named EagelWiKit!1) and Bluestar and YellowFang and Spotedleve, BlackStar, WitStarm! **(I still don't understand why Starclan is attacking)**

She watched when the cats fouht!1 the Starclan cats drove back the Dark Forste ones. But there was nise from behind her. It wasl…... GITERSTAR!1!1! **(Who?)**

"NOO" he said "I WONT LET YOU WIN" And he jupped at BlueStar!11!11! But she scrathed him!11!1 And he dide!11!1111!11!1!11!1!11!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1" SAID HOLYLEAF HER MOTHER. GleamStar saw the sad in her eyes. She ran from carp! **(Carp! The scariest type of fish out there! Stay away, kids!)**

"oh no StarKits hurt someone said. "Lets get her better. "There were allot of cats in the hurt but everone knew StarKit was spescal so they let her get treted forst. **(Or maybe it was the fact that she was a vulnerable kit who was more likely to die faster than any other warrior? They should've let her die.)**

When sehe was better someone said "Oh no StarKits parents are gon. Someoen nedes 2 be her parents."

"Well do it." Said a cat Star looked aroud it was… REPDAW AND LAKEPOOOOOOL! **(Never saw that one coming. It must be weird, having lesbian parents.)**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" siad StarKit! **(Huh. I can actually understand why Starkit can be distressed.)**


	26. Ooooooo Sassy!

Chaphtrt 22 LEBIANS 1 111  
StarKit dind know why eh was so upest, but she new that it was NOT A GOD THINGG for there to be LESBIA. **(Well why the fuck not?)**

"Whats wrong StarGleam" asked RedPaw as she kised LakePaw ON THE LISP! **(*shrieks*)** "Your just a it why do you not like that ides

"Becuse being lesbna is WONG! StarKti yelled back. "Its against the BibTen Comandamnt." **(Yeah! You tell her, Star Girl!)**

"How would you know of the ten commandnts " akxed LekePaw "you werf here for that."

"I know" said StarKkit thuning "but I somehow now aboot it." **(What, are you Canadian? *sorry, I had to... no offense to any actual Canadians out there!*)**

LakePaol shruged she didnt know how to responing. "Well the ten comadnt sarent' real" she said "so me and RedFur think its oka."

"Come backc to the nursey with us" saud RedPFur "your too youg to be out of the nurseyr for log." **(Take that, purple furred bitch!)**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!1!" yelled SarPaw she refused to et herself be expod to the LESBITS!1!1!11!"

Se ran out into the frost. AssKit folowed her. **(Go Asskit go!)** "Whats wrong StarStar" she asked "why are you so upset!" **(Wait... was Ashfur reincarnated as a girl?)**

"I'm beng rased by PLEBIANS!" StarKite yeled back. "WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG/" **(Why the fuck do you care so much?)**

"well come over her" said AshFit "maybe we can make them see the ligt.

"giggle" siad SatrKit but whe went ofer to AshFur. **(So Starkit said... giggle.)**

But then a cat was coing throug the tress! It was... JazzSong!

"JazzPaw what are you dong here!1!1"! asked Starkit.

"It's JazzStar dint you hear I got mad letter after StarGleam died." "It was a sad deth." **(WHOOOOOO JAZZIE-KUN I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!)**

"who is StarGlaem" asked StarGleam she new the nam sounded family but she didnt know WHAT IT WAS.

"it doest mater" sud JazzSong lets go back to the camp."

"Yay" said AshFurtk happly. They went back to the damp.

"No go see RedPaw and lakePaw" said JaszStar "I now they'e wating for yo."

"finefine" saud StarKit but im not going to like it! **(Ooooooo sassy)**

SIX MOONS LATER

"StarKit from this day forwrd you will be NONE AS STARPAW!11!1"! sayd JazzSong. Then clan cheerid happily.

"Your mwneot will be" saiud JazzSeng.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!111!111!" YELLED STARFLEM!1!111!111 **(...okay but who the fuck is her mentor?)**


	27. Hawkfrost Owns a Rapist Tail

Chapter 25 The Ask Qestion  
NO NOT HAWKFROST THOUGTH STARLGEAM. SHE DIDNT KNO WWHY BUT SHE DIDT WAT HIM TO BE HER MEMTOR. **(But he was your bloody mate!)**

"hi GleamKit" said HawkFrots walking over to here. He raped his tail aroond her sholders. **(OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU SEE IT TOO, RIGHT?)** "want to tran with me tommorwo?" "Okay," said Starkpaw.

She went to AsgKit. "Hi she said." "Hi." He said. "Hi." She rippled. "do you want to fo huntibg with me desu ka?" he said. **(I cannot undertand anything paws 'do you want to'...)** "Ok" sie said.

I walked outof the forest wtih AshFir. WE wente into the froste to hunt. He keept loocking at StarGleam. She wandered y. Then he said: "StarPaw… I was wanted know….. if you… owuld be my Mat?"""""? he said. **(Don't you dare start this again. Ashfur you can do way better.)**

"ONGOSH YESSSASSSSS SAID STARPaw cause she didn"t nemember ho he was. Fi shed remembered she wound have said YES. And then… from the buddhes…. CAME hackforst. **(Wah I'm just not feeling this story much any more.)**

"What are you inncolent fools doing?" said HawkFrost. "Shes my mate now." Said AshPaw. "NO WAY?" said HaekFrost. "I want her to b my matt!" Ands then the FOUTH! There was lost of blod. Stargleam cryed! It weas so scaray! "sto" she said but even she coldnt make them lestin. **(And why the fuck would Hawkfrost beat the shit out of an apprentice? Oh yeah, cause he's evil but the rest of Thunderclan either doesn't care or doesn't know so they let him join their now fucked up clan anyways.)**

And thenm suddenly…. THEY WEREK ISSING! "NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?" SAID GLEAMSTARKIT. THEY WERE BING GAY! And she ran in the forest!1!2! **(Okay, I seriously didn't see that coming. Ick.)**  
jeuss doesent lick people who flmale! **(I should hope not. No offense, I don't want to be licked by Jesus. Capitalize his name, you terror.)**


	28. Starpaw Banished Her Mento

Chapter 27 A NEW CALN?  
StarKit ran and ran and run until she got back to the capm and then RedFur was ther waitng for her!11! **(Is is Redfur or Redpaw, fucking make up your mind.)**

"OMIGOSN NO!" reploned StarPa "I CAN;T TALK TO YOU RITE NOW" and she un into the appenticed den. "I CANT LET MUSELF BE SEEN WITH A LESBIAN!1!1!1" **(And why not?)**

"Ad why not" aked RedPaw marcing ofer to StarGkem "I men weave ben rassing you for mons now!"

"I NO" fried StarGKit "But I just saw HawkForst and AshFuru...and they were... KISING!" She was repued as she said that she couldn;t stand the idaw of HAWKFROST KISTING A GUY!" **(Well, neither can I, actually, but that's beside the point.)**

"Well thats erfecty fine isnt it?" asked LakwPool coming into the den/ "I mean were gay and there snothing wrong with that!"

"YES THEIR IS"! yelld Starpaw in angry and she RAN FROM THE DEN AND BACK OUT INTO THE FROST **(Brrrrrr, cold!)**

BUT THEN SHE RAN INTO HAWKFORT AND ASHTKI AGAN!11111111!111!1111"

"YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!" she told them (a/n I NEEDED EXTRA EMPHAS BECUSE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO RITE IT!) but they DIDNT MOVES THEY JUST CONTINUED TO MACK OUR! **(BLLLLLLLLLEEEREEEEERRRRRG! *a/n: I don't know how to type the inhuman noise I just made.*)**

"WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAF" she asked quitely "I MEAN YOUR NOT EXCEPT IN THIS CALN OF MINE!111!" **(It's not your fucking clan, bitch!)**

"IT'S NOT YOUR CALN!" HAWKFORST YELLED ITS EVERYBODYS CALN" **(You tell her, Hawky!)**

"YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!" SAID STARKIT.

"FINE" said Hawkforst and he Left With AshFur! "WE'LL GO BE ROGUES."

"GET OUT OF MY CALN"

So they lef. Then StarKit realized SHE HAD JUST BANISHED HER MENTO. **(Ooooooh, what flavor?!)**

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111!11


	29. 11111111111111!

Chapter 27 the Mameries  
stpo flameing! whats rworng wth i dont you knowe a good stoary when uk see one? :((( **(Yes, I do! Sadly it's not this one!)**

StarPaw wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y. She lokked it was FlamaPelt! "FalmePelt help me she said yor a good steret cat what do you?' **(You're a good... straight cat? That is lowwwwwww)** "lol i don know do wahat your heart says." She liked over to her mte NightRain. **(And for some reason he was never mentioned until now.)** His blue eyes sparkeld shoningly into her wired eyes thier was one blue won green she was straet not like LakeP. "But dos it really mater? i mean im by so it realy doesnot btw i heard there makicng Satinclan."

"what noooOOOOOOOOOOO" siad STarKit and NightStorm at eh same time. "NO YOU CANT BE BY FLAMEPETLE NOOOOOO ITS AGANST THE COMONDMENTS" nightrain looked afast! **(Satinclan? Like the fabric, then.)**

"so who cares! said FlamePaw definsively. "We." said NigthRAin and GleamPaw. "Why." she said. "because its bed." they said. **(Maybe a twin.)**

"well watever Im going to g join SaitnClan cuase im evil now by" said FlamePelt and she was gone. **(Ummm...)**

"?" said StarPaw beuatifully. **(First of all, how do you say '?', and second, how do you say it beautifully?)**

"I DONK NKOOOW" SAId RAINspolash. And he rain off. **(Go faster, Rainsploosh!)**  
StawPaw was so sad that tears started to rall down her feca. Why nust her famly be so gya. she wandred. **(Cats still can't cry, but since I have them cry in my stories I won't say anything ;))** She walked and went until her was at the clering. "This is were we meat." she tough sadly thinking of HawkfRost.

And... then she looked at the tree!111!1!11! it was the same tree HawkGrost had hit put his into lookig for her!1!1!1! AND AL OF THE SUDDEN SHE REMEBERED!31!  
verythinga bout hawkfrost and FirwStar and all the oms who lobed her and the propecy and the forest!

"~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111" said TarGleam. **(When you're shocked, always scream 11111111111111111111)**


	30. What Star Says (or does) Goes

Chapter 28 Shrakking  
okay guy I know its een a wile sinse my last chapta, but no I have somethin to say on th subgect! a few weks ago, jazzy intoduce me to something calld SLASH. **(JAZZIE KUN WHY?!)** At firt I didnt liek it so much but then since I new it exited and since i puberty I finaly admtted to myslef that I was...A LESBIAN!1!1!1111 **(Well you were insulting and saying how gross being a lesbian is in all the other 28 chapters!)** I men i didnt want to admit it first but ten i realizd that its not god to hide my felings. **(Well, that's good at least.)** I men I now i usd to be a homophone but evn thoh im not hapy about having to kno this i know its for the bet. I was awy for soooo log becuase i had to realse tat and aslo i was potsging on the OFICAL FORM. but everone their is a stanist!1!1111!1! so i letf. and btw i cnat bleive those stupid at dleteed my sotyr!111! :((((( there so mean i mean wat did i do to derseve this? But anywa here is the chapte.

Now that she remebred StarPaw ran ack to the camp with anew goll. She wanted to tll evyrbody who she RELLY WAS. Sh got bck ther and past RedPaw and lakePool on there way otu.

"Wher are you gong?" StarPaw questin.

"Were going to Stainclan" repelled RedPaw. **(Surprise surprise.)**

"But why?" sekd StarPaw. "Bein gay isnt a sin anymro!" She whaled afte rhtem. **(Seriously? It's okay to be a lesbian now because Starpaw is a lesbian now. That bitch makes me ANGGGGGRYYYYYYY!)**

"it isn't said LakePaw but you said it was!"

"I kno" saed StarApw "But ive found out abut SLASH. Infact I've relaed that I LOVE JAZZPA.E." **(OOOOOOOOH I CALLED IT! Here, I'll quote it:** _"Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit/"_ _ **(Go be a lesbian with Jazzpaw or something. Hey, you said you loved her.)**_ **)**

"omg relly?" esked RedFur cause she culdtny belief it. "but were still gong to Stinclan, becase wer also ATHIET"." **(OH NO!)**

"NO." StarPaw muttered. "you cant goo! Satinclan is not the place for you. I shuld proly go and call hawkFrost and AshFit back beause they can be ga nwo! Oh and FlamePelt can come back to.

"We;l go tel them" saidRedufr and she left with LakePaw. The StaRgleam wen back to tamp and wen she got thair she jumped o the HighLedRock. **(Seriously? If I was that clan leader, I'd punt that bitch off of the rock and hopefully she'd fall off and die!)**

"ATTENSION ALL CATA OF THUNDERCLAN  
SHE YELeld I HAVE AN ANOUCNEMTN.

The cats . "What is it StarSpaw theu asked

"I HAVE A CONFESSN" SHE YELLD "I...AM...STARSTAR!11!11!111111111!"

 **(*gasp* "No you're not bitch! We said good riddance to Starstar!")**


	31. Stargleam is Preggers

Chapter 30 The Revvel!  
OMGOSH I CNAT BLEIFE THAT HIS HAS ONLY BEEN UP FOR A DAY AND YORU ALREDDY FMALING!1!11!1! :( STOP! JUSES MIGHT LIKE GAT PPPL NOW BUT THAT DOENT MEAN EH LIKKS FLAMMERS **(Well that's what happens when you write a trollfic unintentionally.)**

"Are you" said BrakenFur.

"WHY WONT QNYONE BELIVE ME" said starGleam and she ran uot of the cmap. **(Brackenfur I'm pretty sure isn't everyone in camp.)**

/= **(Did she seriously just make an angry face to put in the story)**

angry!

HOW cloud BrakinFor noy belivfe her after!11!11 And atfer averythign she done as a amaxing kit!She went to Satinclam and it wsa in a clerring just past the thunderclan boarder. She saw all the catd who were in Satnclan and there were….. CXLOUDTAIL AND MOUTHWING!11!1!11!1111 **(Gasp)**

"LakePaw and RedFur dd you tell FlameOelt and NightRani that they couls come back now?" said Stargleam?

"no were all stlill athletes" StarGleam was bout to go home when realized soethinf. **(WHOOOO WE'RE ATHELETES!)** There cats were crepping towerd her!11!1!

"What are youo doing!1!" said she. SatinClaw wallked up to her now he was earing purple nail pollish and three was a blackk stirpe on his head. **(Yeah! Purple is the best kind of nail polish for cats to wear!)** "We cnat' let you left Stargleam he said. you know to muchgt."

HOlyLeaf kumped out form the shadows and turhned into a BOBCAT!1!1!

Bubcat HullyLeaf ran at StarGleam! She hit StarGleam!1!1 Satinclaw came up 2 and hestared to claw her. **(But... isn't Hollyleaf her mother now?)**

But when thet clawed her stomich somtehgn inside of StarGleam hurted!1!1!1!11! IT WAS A KIT111! STARGLEAM COULD FELL HER KITS PAN! **(Kits?)**

she was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PREGGANT. **(WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHO IS THE DAMN FATHER OF THOSE KITS?! IS IT BLACKSTAR? *glares*)**

"IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !1!" SIAD STARGLEAM.

AUTHROS NTOE OMG JAZZY POSTED THIS CHPTAE WITHOU T ME SAYIGN SHE OULCD. IM SORRY I DIDNT GET TO ETID TI MROE! I DIDNT KNOW JAZZ COULD USE MY COUTN **(Good job Jazzie-Kun!)**


	32. Jazzsong is the Father?

Chatter 31 KITS  
t00000000t this chatper made jazsy really upstet she shad she woudlnt deit the chapters anymroe i thinkc she odnest like ne enymore IM SORRY JAZZ I LUVE YOU **(I'm *sniff* So *sniff* SORRY JAZZIE-KUN!)**

StarGleat ran bakc ro the thundercaln camp and she skided into the mediccne tats den.

"JAYFEATHRE SHE ELLED I THINK IM PREGNAT!1!1!"1!" **(BUT JAYFEATHER IS STILL FUCKING DEAD PEOPLE!)**

"What makes yo say that" said JayFeather he came out of the medicine cats den.

" FELT MY KITS" SAID STARCLEM. **("Yes mam!")**

"Ok lie down her" and so StarGkem ded and JayFetahr felt her stomah. "OH" she yelled as he pocked a kit.

"Those are diftently kits" he said "They look like theyr gong to be comign in a few dyas/" **(A few days? Sorry, but she would've been able to tell that she was nine months pregnant a lot sooner then she did.)**

"OMG A FEW DAYS SAID STARGLEMA HOW DID SHE NOT NKNOW THIS,. SHE SAID.

"If I can aks whose the father" said JayFetaer.

"Ummm" said StarGleam shitting her paws "how do I say this. It was...JazzSong." **(*screams in terror*)**

"WHAT" Jazzong said coming up to her. "HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK I;M A GIRL" **(FUCK JAZZIE-KUN YOU IMPREGNATED STARPAW!)**

I knwo said StarGlaema but "I LOVE YOU."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!1111!111!11!1!1!1" said JazzStar. **(Why are you screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?)**


	33. How Does One Sparkle When Speaking?

Chapter 23 The Vist  
SatrPaw rnan away she aws tears weire sterawming down her nick. WHY WAS HERE LEAF SO BADD?1!1?111/?12 Everyone ated her1! **(FINALLY!)** all ehr family nad frineds were DEED!1!1 shed gone throu so much and now not even JAXPAW her BSET FIREND would hepl here!11?

She flet her kits move in side her. she alreayd loved them s o much. But it was hard becuase she loved JazzStae! Her life was so TREIBL RITE NOW. **(I still don't understand how Jazzsong got another girl pregnant. Unless...)** Sudenly a starlcna cat came down from the sjy. It was….. SLIVERSTREAM!1 "dont worry GleamStap" said the silverstream! Itwall all be ok in the nd youll sef. **(JAZZIE-KUN IS SECRETLY A DUDE!)**

"i dnot know how it can be." she said. "it will." Epxlinad Silberstream.

"I HAVE KITS SILVERSDREAM! IKTS!11!1" SPARKLED STARGLEAM. **(HOW DOES ONE SPARLKE WHEN SPEAKING DIALOGE)**

O know said StaSilverStream. "but ive ben in yoru place before iknown what it fells like,' she liked StarkIts fourhead. then she luf.

StarTit snifed. She had 2 get better. For her KTIS. SHHE START wwalking awy into the forest.

I DONT KNOW IF I BEABLE TO UDATE MCUH RIHTE NWO IM SO SADDDDDDDDDDDD T-T **(Oh poor you.)**


	34. OH NO I Seriously Don't Care

Chpater 24 THE BARLE  
StrGleam was dooo upset she was anrgy and confusd. Starcaln WHYYYYYYYYYY?11/1/1/11/1!1" She elld angrly.

"Syarcaln can;t hlep you know!" said an evli vocie. "Theres nothin gthey can do for you!"

"WHAT WHO SAID THAT" SHE ASEKD IN FAER. **(TIGERSTAR!)**

It is I, HolyLeaf!" said the voice again. Then HolyLefa bust out. **(Oop. Wrong again. Hollyleaf is NOT EVIL!)** The hole of ShadowCaln was with her and...THE DRARK FOFRST

OH NOOOOOO YELLED STARGLEAME STARCALN HELP ME"

And then...the Warriorsof Starcaln came down the sky1 They joined StarGlaem and told her "We wil fihth with you StarPaw because you saved us ocne."

"Kawaii" said SrarGleam and they stared figthging the cats. **(Best one-liner ever...)**

StarStar ahd HolyLeaf pined down when suddenly... SHE FELT A MOVIE INSIDE HER! **(Ooooooh, was it Jurassic Park?!)**

"MY KITS ARE COMIGN!1!1111!1!11!1" She owled. **(OH NO I seriously don't care.)**


	35. Classical Music for the Kits, of Course!

Chapter Thirty Two The Berth  
hokkyleaf RUNNING TOWERED HER. but a StarKlan cat named Bublesfor jumped infront of her screamign NPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. **(How do you pronounce NPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?)** She jumped in ftorn of her scremaign and HolyLeaf hit him insted!1!1! He died. **(Because Hollyleaf is so strong she can kill a cat with a single blow. When we play Kung Fu Fighters I want her on my team.)**

StarGlean woudl have ben really upset but her kits were coming. She almost creamed out in paun but she wais a string brave tac and so she didnt. It hirt allot. Dhere was alot of piano in her stomach **(Classical music for the kits of course!)** AND SUDENLY TTHERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWERE111!1! **(No dip Sherlock, you're giving birth.)** SHE LOOKED DOWN AND THEIR was BRAKE in her stomchi. Hillyleaf was finished with bubbleFur so she was cuming tword her agein.

"NOOOOOOOOO STARGLEAM WHALED." But just as HOlyLeaf was about to hit her….. IT WAS BLUESTAR! **(Why?)** Starglem wtchad in ANGR as BlueStat nocked Hollyleaf over and she put her claws in her throt. She made HoluLeaf unconsece. But be4 HolyLeaf went blak she svratched BlueStar"s! There was red bloud comiming from her chest!111

"I love you JazzPaw I lways have." iad blueStar when she deid. **(First, Bluestar was already dead. Second, why does she love Jazzsong too?)** BLEUSTAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said GleamStare!

She was sad. And jhe hurt from her was going to be so HRAD!11! but looking at BleStars body filled her with GOPE. So she pushed.

AND THE KITS CAME OUT!111!1! **(OMG REALLY?!)**

You flameas shoudl stopa beig so mean!1111!11! :(((((((((( dont you know how sda i am rite now? i am going throguhg a rly togh time and if i wasnt a christen I woud b so mad at you right now11111!1111!111! **(You were calling us all Satanists a couple chapters ago.)**


	36. At Least She's a Good Mother?

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes **(I highly doubt that this is Chapter 333)**  
OMGOHS IM SO SORRY I DIDNT UDPAT FFOR SO LOG! I ws really busy i was tryeing to write a sotry for nationle noelv writing . i got to ten thosuend words!11! also Ii turned 21 on the elebenth! :DDDDDD but anywax here is the new chapter, I shokld be upateing like i use to now **(Yippee!)**

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes **(You already wrote that.)**

Ther weree threr kits their. One off them was relly flufry and goldcolred one was brignt ornge the secoudn was a tiger. Evn thou she was in AGONYYYYYYYYY StarGlem smeled as she liked her kitens.

"Wat are you gong to cal them" akes jzzSong "ots not my chois remembre I men your the un wo had the kits!" **(Did Jazzsong just apparate?)**  
"Hmmm" thaught aarGlema for a minuet beeofre she said "I thik the gold one will be DaFlufykit and the onrge one wil be FireKit and the tiger stripped one wil be TugerKit. **(Did she just say 'DaFluffykit'?)**

"GASP" GASPED THE ENTER CALN. "HOW CAN YOU NAME I TIGERKIT DONTYOU KNW WHAT HE DID" YELLED BAMBLECLAW. "HE NERLY KILED ME" **(WHERE THE FUCK WAS BRAMBLECLAW FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE STORY?)**

"Yes I no but haf ou forgoten that hes alsomy dad." aid satRhleam. "Besuids I like the name."

"Oka I gues" and BabelClaw wakked away but he was rell pset. StarGlema wihsed he wasunt so sedative. **(BRAMBLECLAW IS MORE SEDUCTIVE THAN ALL YOUR OTHER SHIT MATES! *hisses*)**

"I lick the nams" said JazzStaorg and she licked StarHlema on the hed. "There beatiful kids."

"I no" giggled StarGlema aand we;; love thm for ever and evar." " **(At least she's a good mother...?)**


	37. ShitkitFTW

Chapter 34 TIGERSTARS ATTAK  
BUT THE BATLE WASNT OVERT YET!1!

All of a suddenly TIGEEERSTAR came runeing towrd her!11 "NOOOOO" he toweled. "I CN TELL THT TOGERKIT WILL BE GOOD! i dnt want a good kat named after me"" he said. SO HE LUMPED FOR STARELGM!111 **(*snort* classy Tigerstar.)**

"NOOOOOO." seramed whitestrom he jumped in front of her. "you csnt hurt her can't you se she has kTITS?' "lol" lalueghed TigerStar, "I dont care Im evillll!" And he attacked FufflyKit!1!1 **(NOOOO FLUFFYKIT!)**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" said GleamStar. She tried to get to Fluffykit bt she was to quick. TigrStar scrathecd hsi nose!1! But FlfuyKit was a god firghter like his mo. so he jumped at tigerStar1!1! and so did FireKit and Tigerkit!1 They were all balting together!1!1 **(You're fucking kidding me. Those newborn kits who don't even have their eyes open yet can fight a super villan.)**

""look at that its amazing." Said sumone. "There fighting tohether!" Al the clan watched in aww.

"YOU MAY HVE DEFEETED ME THIS TIM STARKIT" SAID TIGERSTar "BUT YOULL NEVER DO IT AGIN!" he ran way with the DarkFrost. So did Holy;eaf. **(Oh, I'm sure Stargleam will find a way to kill you both again!)**

StarGelam pursed her nose into Ja Star. they one! She was so hpary. But then… from the darkrsness… came... … … … SHKIT! **(DOES THAT SAY SHITKIT)**


	38. Poor, Poor Fluffykit Wasn't Good Enough

Cahpert 34: Back Too the clan  
Cahpert 34 Back Too the clan **(You already typed that.)**

"AshTki what are you doint here?" asked GleameStar. She didnt se any reson for him to be their righte now btu he couldnt help but fel scarred.

"Im tacking a ckt.' aid AshFur and he grabed TigerKit and wakeld away. "You rejicted me and so now Im gon aget my refveng on you by RAISNG YOUR KIT TO BE EVIL!1!1!111" **(Errr...)**

"GASP NO" YELLED THE CALN THEY COUDNT NELEVE THAT ASHFUTE WOULD O SUCH A TING. **(They actually said 'GASP'...)**

"Not if i can hlpe it" rored FlufKit and he flew towrd AshFur with is calws open. "YOUR NOT TALING MY BORTHER ALIV!"

Al the cats in clan includng StarGlema and JazzFur watched in mazement as the little flufy kit began to attck AshFurt. "NOT MY BOTHER!" FLUFYKIT YELD AS HE ATCKED ASHFUR WITH HIS CLAWS MACKING THE CAT BLED. But evn thoguth he was hurt AshFru stil manged to drag TigerKit off even thoghu the tiget kkti was prosting. FlufyKir fel down and startd to crry. **(Poor, poor, Fluffykit. He wasn't good enough. Probably because his eyes aren't open yet.)**

"Its ok." said SarGlm and JazzSong as they came to confort the kit. "Im sure he will get back to us eventaly. I men hes your broterh and if hes anythng like you than he s a VRY GOD FIGHTER. **(Of course he is.)**

Btu Fluffykit waled loudly anywya. His wali was so loud that it alsmto souded like a trmpet. It was sooooooo loudly that a bnuch of cats ran to see waht was goin on.

And amon them...was FIRESTRA!1!1!1111!11 **(GASP!)**


	39. The Butter-Cat Hybrid is Born

VRY IMPOTENT MASSAGE

Hey guisssss!1!11! It's ofcialy 12;03 aM on Decmbr 24 CHRISTMS were I life, and I thougt that since its everone's FAVORITE holyday I would write a Chritmas specil! Some ppl sad i shold. **(Yay, Christmas!)**

But b4 that I hav a differnt veirson of eht somng rudof the RedNosed Raindeer! :DDDD Its called… STAREGLAEM THE PRUPEL CAT!1111! **(Oh fuck no.)**

StarGlema the puprle cat  
Was a vrey purpel cat  
And if you evre saw hre.  
You wold evne say shes fat.

 **(Ha ha ha!)**

Al of the othre cats  
used to laguth and call her ames.  
they nevre let por StarGealm  
join in ne kity games

then one ofgy Gatherng  
BlueStar came to say  
SarGlema with our fur so bright  
won't you led the gathering tonigt?

Then al the kites loved her  
as they shoted out with gle  
StarGlema the purlep cat  
youll go don in histroy!

 **(GO PURPLEP CATS!)**

Ok now hers the speciail.

SpottedLeaf cam dwn from the sky to appar to Jay Feather on a dream. She told him that "DawnSparkle will have a kit, and her name must be StarGleam." JayFather asked how this wad suppoded to happn, since she hadn't done u-kno-wat with DawnSparkle at that pont. YellowFanng repld. "Trust in GoStarvlan and they wont led you wong." **(That stick of butter is having another cat-butter hybrid?)**

So then DawnDparkle and JayFeather went arund fir a while and then the baby started to come!1!11 So the went to an inn but the inkerpr wouldnt let them stay thr. So they went to a barn instead and all the other aminals gathered ronnd to see the birth. **(They went... to an inn? Like, a hotel?)**

AND THEN STARKIT WAS BORN!1!1111111!1!11!1!11!11!1 **(Thanks for bringing this piece of shit into the world. Thanks.)** Then ther e was a relly brigt star a bove them **(Yeah. Stars are bright, smartie.)** , and then LionHeart, BleuStar and YelloFang

"Wat are you doin her?" asked DawnSparkle and then they said "Were heremto see baby JdSusKit.

"Ok come see hier then" said DawnSparkle and ten they all came over to her. The also gave her gold, frankenstein and mir.

"This is our savor." said Bluesatr. "We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11 **(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME)**

Hark the herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!  
Peace on earth and mercy mild  
God and sinners reconciled"  
Joyful, all ye nations rise  
Join the triumph of the skies  
With the angelic host proclaim:  
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"  
Hark! The herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!"

(i copied the lyrics since i didnt know the song) **(*gasp* PLAGIARISM!)**

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

CHAPTER 40 TIGERKIT

ONG IM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR BENG GON SO LONG!11! :( scholo was rly hard sinc I goat back they gave us alot of homowork and i was haveing torlble with som of my friends bcaus I am a lesbain now nd they dont unferstand. **(Oh I'm so sorry.)**

U cant b3elieve u flamers are still faleming!1 WHY ARE YOU SUCK MEAN PEPPLE Y CANT YOU ACPECT ME FOR WHO I AM!11!1! im not sory I colled you statinst you ARE othersiwe you woul be nice!11!1! **(*gasp! You, authoress, are kind of a bitch.)**

Bbut neway im back and heres the chatper I woked realy hard on it this time!1! **(Well I bet you did.)**

FIRESTARE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE asked starlgema. "I thogut u were the letter of ShaodWclan now?" "Tes i was but I relied I stil lube you GlamePool he siad. **(Fuck you Firestar, you ginger bitch. Fuck. You.)** "I herd you and togerStar fihgtnng an so i cam to hlep," "Wel youre too latr." Said HleamStar. "Tiggestar took TigerSatr!11111! '

'I cna hellp" he said Firstar. "RAELY" aiad STarGleam. "Realy I kno were his hdeout wis" "Omgosh really said Stargleam "Yes wen i wnte a way I was ledder of shadowlnca so i was ebbil for awhiel nd I ws with TigerTsar. so i know wre he lives.' **(I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED!)**

"LESTS GO THEN!1" YOWLED STARLGMEAN RUNING TOWRD TIGESRTARS. Tjey ran for a log tiem but GleamPaw was so andrenline she didn't care. But lots of the other cats were tired by thetim they got ther. **(Because Stargleam is so amazing that she can run 80 miles without stopping.)** Tigerstars hidoat was a hloe near the lake. "okay ready TACK!1111" MEOWELD STARELGME ND THE CATS RUN INT O THE HEOLE.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SAID TIGERSTAR WHEN HE SAW THEM he was rly boldy bcase tigerkit hd been fighting him. Hw was too tired Starlgema roped her claws down his nicke her esyes robbling!11 She was so beutufl in btale thought. Hr bleu fur shone in the moanlight!1 her eyes burned with NGR. She was one of the barviest cats the hades ever seen. **(No, Tigerstar! NOT YOU TOO!)**

GleamStar clawd TigeerStare vicuously!1111111! Blood went everwhare!1!1 It flu through the are licke a dove!111 Tigerstar ran away in pain!111 "You bet me but ist stoo late !1" he laguged. Then he left.

"What did he mean bu that" StarPaw ondered. Then she locked at tigerPaw. "ARe you okya" se haid.

"OF xourse Im okay IM EVIL NOW!1!1111!" he siad. **(Why would you tell her that?)**  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" WALLED STARLGME.  
DNOT FLAME ME THIS DIME! ! I MEAN IT!111! **(Oh well too bad.)**


	40. I'm Just Really Confused Lol

Chapter 42 STARGLEMA'S NEW THOUGHT

Hi guyss I'm bakke.! For a wile I was realy depresed because i found a lot of fanfics on this site which i THINK THEIR MOCKING MY STORY. I men realy theres a strouy about a at named LovelyyKit and one about SparkekIt what is that about?/?/ I theink tehyre moking me! If ur readingt rhis and and you wrote one of those bad storiess?,.. i think youre stories arr TROLFIC.S **(Um... yeah, they are.)**  
But neway here is the chapater.

"What will you do no?" TigerPaaw akesed StarKgle. "One of ur belved kits is now aliened with the evil cats!1"  
"You cant do taht!" FluffyKit yeld. "Dont you no how much our mom put into havng us ARE YOU REALLY SO DISGRATEFULL!" **(You tell him, Fluffykit!)**  
"Do uyo think I car TugerStar is beter than all fo you dumb boldens.""That'ss wy I'mg oing to go live with hm and Ill mary his daughter...RainStar!" **(GASP who the fuck is Rainstar)**  
StarGlema gapes. "your ripping me apart tugerkit" But she coulent do anyhing because then TugerKir tran off afert TigerStar.  
JazzSogn came up and burshed againt Gleamest. "What are you going to do love" she aksed quitely.  
GealemKit hised. "Im going after them." she growle.d "TigerKit is my son nad I lvoe him. I have to go with him im soawy."  
JazSong was sad but she new it was fro the bests. "Go then StarGlapw." she said "Ill wait for you 4eva."  
tarGelam noded and ran of after them. Wehn she got teher she found TigerKit makng out wth a brown cat and she gesed it was RainStar."What are you dong makign out with this kath!" she yeled abgry. **(Ick.)**  
"Moter wat are you dong ehre!" TigerKit shouted. "Why did you felaow me " GleamstRa sid. "because i wouldn't let my kit go of alone wen i wasnt wit him."

"awwwwwww said rainStar sardically but "that's swet but your not one of us wo we have to kile you. UNLEAS THE MONGOSE!1" **(Just... just a little random.)**  
Tehn sudenly, mongosee!1 It was really HOLYLEAF. **(Seriously, of all the animals, it had to be a mongoose.)** StarGleam doged to one side. "Nowait! she eleyd" "I want to talk about this! I wnat to be on of you guys with TigerKit!"  
"Nice try Gleam but we can se RIGHT TROUGH YOUR LISE SAID RAINSTAR NOW KILL THE INFIELD!" THEN THE MONGOSO ATAKCED!

BUT SUDDENLY BTFORIT COULD RATH HER THERE WAS JAZSONG AND FLUFLYKIT AND EVERYOEN1  
They all rard at the mongose the Holyleaf! It rant away; and StarGkeam was happy. But RainStra hised.

"We cant turst you oif your friends keep coming to safeve you!" she tud. "Now leve befor we cal in FeatherPaw. **(WHO THE FUCK IS FEATHERPAW?!)**

"FeatherPaw?" gapes FalifuKit. "He is my boyferiend!"

Your boyfiend" RainStar snorkled "but Im stright."

"So" said Flufykit "pont be such a hobophobe"

"iI;m not but in straight." said rainstar. **(But you literally just said you** ** _were_** **straight...)**

"But thats not athe point  
came a voice and it was...tigertsar!

"StarGlema what are you doing here" asked iegrStar "do you want to die" **(END THIS MISEREY TIGERSTAR!)**

"No" said StarGlamr I want to join your group because...I'M EVIL!11!1!1!1!

"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" SAID JAZZOSONG. **(HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PRONOUNCE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?)**


	41. The Rise of Fugglykit

CHAPTER 43 THE PALN FOR THE BATTLE

WHAT NO STARGLEMA said JazzXong her blue eyes weid with sad. 'You cant do thsi you're my matte1!" **(It's okay, Jazzie-Kun! Just go back into the closet. *give a review if you know what I mean ;)*)**

"i have too" satrGlamestar said angishly. "its my destinty I no that now/" "This is awsom mom!11" said Tigerkit "now were on thes ame side!" **(Wheeee!)**

"I dont know " said RainStar said. "r we sure shes not a spy?" "Dont worry Lakepool said she'd joind Satinclan to. "It's all for the brest." "NOOOOOOOOOO" Fuggly kit yowlud he waws really upse t cause he lovved his mom but now she was EVILL!11He ran away into the forste. **(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SHE SAID FUGGLYKIT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)**

Starkit almost yollwed NO WAIT FUFFLYSTAR but then she rembred she was evil now so shee just locked awy. Insid she flet sad was she relay suposed to fullfil the propesy when she was fighting for the Sark Forest!? Mab shed been the wong vat all along. **(No she can't, Starkit can never be wrong. I thought we all knew that.)**

She wlaked away in2 the forest with TigerKat, Rainstar. Nd LakePopl. Hoq could sStarclan have berayed her? it mad her so FURICOUS1! By the time they got to TiherStar she was reddy tofight agiants them!111!1111!11!

"Okay Dar Frost cats emuncated TigerGleam standing on the stump, GlameStar looked around and saw there were lots of cts had acred arund the smtp. "Tomorrow were gingo to atakk…. THNUDERCLAN!111!" **(Aaaaaaaaand I already saw that coming.)**

Allf the scat SCRAMED in aporval. Starlgame did to but insid she was CTYING. Oh no she thohtgh wat will i do? Ive git friendd in thunderclan! But she had 2 do it for TigerLit he loked so hpapay here happer than hed ever ben in the forstet! **(...)**

"And…. STARGLEMA WILL SHOW US THE WAYA!111!11!111" said TigerStar. "shell be th first there so he can show ho lyal she is too the AArkforest." **(WHOOOOOO YOU GO TIGERSTAR!)**

NOOOOOOO tought GleamStar. But she siad "ok TogerStar I will''

THE BAFFLE FOR THE FORST HAD BEGAN!11


	42. Thank God the Story is Almost Over!

Chatper 45 THE DEATH nd berayal!

starGleam fought bsied She who reuns with leaves. theyre were out#ing the Thunderclan cats. **(She seriously couldn't have just said outnumbering?)** StarGleam clawd a cat and blood sarfed the air she said "Take that ThdnerClan traiters!" but inide she was thinking I cunt do this!111!1! **(Ha, you see it too?)**  
And then... FIERSTARE WAS BEING ATTACKED BY TIERGERSTAR!1!  
"NOOOOOOO NOT FIRESTAR" thought GleamStar. She watned to help her leider But TigerKot was on her sid and she had to fight for him.

But then someone was savving Firestar! It was... davFUFFLYTIK! ILL HELP HYOU HE SAID SHOUTING IN FRONT OF TIGGERSTARS CLAWS **(WHOOOOOO GO FLUFFYKIT DESTROY TIGERSTAR EVEN THOUGH YOUR EYES AREN'T OPEN YET!)**

"no FlfuKit don't your too young" sia d FreStar but it was too kate. Fluffykit ook the bolw for him and he was blood!1]  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" siad StarGleam she coudlnt take it anynmorew! she lumped at GietrStar and knocked him off her kit she started to lick FluffKit but TigerKut attaked him then he turned he said "Mom yur evil remember?" but tears were running down her checks and she said no "Tigerkit I'm not! You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly. And i alwyas thought the tiger was TiggerStar but now I now... IT WAS YOU!11!1111 its a elf fulfing propecy!" **(Dang, didn't see that coming.)**  
"what." said TigerKit hi shocked. "No thit cant be right! I now I'm supossed to be vil and so are you!" but SternGleam wasn't littening. She was locking at Fluffkyt who was bleeding.  
"Plese don't die FluffyKitd," she sobed. Her tears were make rainbows. **(Are you serious?)** Fluffkits fluffly golden fur sparkled in the sunlight when he said "I have tos tarGleam its my detsinty." He closed his esy and stoped bretheing.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !" said StarGleam she was haretbroken!1! shed never been so sad before in hir life! **(What about all the other 87 times you cried in this story?)**  
But then... someoen said "HAHAHAHA" she heard and she looked around it was... HOLYLEAF! shed killed TIGERSTAR! 'You gav me a disraction. Now I can rule the forest fo rmyself!" she said evilly. "TigerKit will help me!" TigerKet went to stand beside her. **(Oh snap.)**  
GleamPaw was about to say NIIIIIIIII BUT THEN she got ANGNRY. "No" she said" Your NOT going to rule the forst" and then... HER KAWAII ORANGE WYWS STARTED TO GLOW!11111  
STARKITS PROPHCY WAS ABOUT TO COME TRUE! **(THANK GOD THE STORY IS ALMOST OVER)**

omgosh sory I tok so long to get these chatper s oot. schyul got crazy and i had some turble with Jazzykun but guess what WE'RE FRIENDS AGIN! **(YAY JAZZIE-KUN!)** 12111 its awesome shes accepted that i lovo her and shes ok with it now. but neway were geting really close to the end! ts gonna get RELLY good!1111! **(Oh well I bet it is!)**  
to he flarmes, STU! O jedeus talt people to be nice and whyarent youd oing that? you need to learn it it will help you out allot! But to all the niece ppl who review my sotry bless you 7 thank you i aperciate it allot, withotu you i night notve writen this story tat all! n_^ **(Oh well your welcome for the nice reviews :))**


	43. ACCEPT JESUS MOFO!

THE FINAL CHAPTER 46

"This is wat you get for mesing with ME!" StarGkeam slowed, her orange eyes glwoign so bright that they coudl be sene from the mono. **(Stargleam has mono. That's just fabulous!)** "I'M SICK OF AL YOU INFIDS" she crocuhed down and barred her fangs.

"Oh no!" Jazzsong sqeald. "Shes about to atack! Everyone get ouf of the way!"

Al of the god cats ran away and hid undee a reee as the ground staered to shake. Then sudeny, the enter forest was evelpd in a brialt gorange glow and the screms of many evli cats could be hard.

"ACCEPT JESUS MOTHERFUCKERS!" StarGleam screched. **(WHOOOO I DIDN'T THINK STAR HAD IT IN HER! *also, did you notice that 'motherfucker' is one of the few words spelled correctly in this story?*)**

When te glo went away there were no mor evil cats. TigerKit and HolylEaf and TigerSar wer al gon, that they had disapeard. The Other cats in Satincaln, like RainHeart and LakePol, now had no ledder to fallow now that there leaderd were ded so they were god again. **(You don't just become good because you have no evil leader.)**

"The prophcy of StarKit has com true," saud JazzPaw as she came out from under the tre. "StarGleam you are our svor."

"Not for log" said Gleamesta and she fel on the ground, brething hard. "That was realy hurt it tok a lot of enrgy I do'nt think I can fight anymore." She closd her eys as JazSogn wailted in horor.

"No." JazzSong wispered in dismal, racing up to the dieing shecat. **(Jazzie-Kun, save her! *faints*)** "No, no no no! Please GleamStra! Plase be okay!11" there came no reponse.. Ever one stodo and gased on at the sene before them. "StarGlema! Wake up! Please! Tears began to wail up behidn her eyes like a dam rady to brake." "S-stargleam…...No…"

JazzSong bured her noes into StarGleams wam fur. "We've gone to far!" we've been throught too much tofethee for it all to end here now! GleameStar… I LOVE YOU!" LakePool and RedDSpalsh exchaned a lesban glance, than began to quitly pad toards ther ding savoir. **(What's a lesbian glance?)** "DON'T TOUCH HER" JazStar spat, tares fowing like watrfalss down her checks. Then more quetlyly, she whipered, "Don't...…

GlameaStra's signed whisker twihed ever so sightly. "Jazzsong...…" She breahed. "Closer…..." Jazzpwa kelt closer to her, her wihskers barley bruhsing StarPaw's cheks. "I…...I wish I cold stya…. And I wold if I could…. But… She pased", violinly caughing some of the smoky out of her lungs her body shuttered. "I…...JazzSong…...I CAN SE THEM!

"Who? JazzSign walied, tears roloing. Who can you see?" **(Them.)**  
StarGlem closed her eys and smeled weekly. "All of them...…even FluffyIt, JazzSongo! StarClan is bekning me…"  
"No, GleamTra, no! Plese! Say it isn't so!11!"

befor the she cat coudl repond, she was beten by anothet strom of violint coufghing. StarGlema udered a unarticle mew, shakking uncotrolablly, and finaly colasped to the ground, clenhed paw sloowly unfoding like the leg of a ded spidder. StarGlem's once brigt eyes no loger held there shiner as they started off into the disnatce. A momment pased, and her eyes slowly cosed. **(Eyes don't always close when you're dead.)**

The clan stod in silents, quiely morning their tragik lose. JazzSogon wailed and buried her fac into GleamStars fur. She sobbed uncorrolably, her tail ficking back and forth in a vilent moton. "GleamStar! GlemaStar! Please! Come bac! No! StarGleam…...starGleam…. **(Is it Gleamstar or Stargleam?)**

The moionliss cat inhailed. Her voice bairly audoble. "It is so…...I'm sory… I love you too, JazzSong. Never forgp that."

"StarPaw…..." **(Oh, so it's Starpaw now?)**

I may be gon…. but I stile life on…"

"How, GleamPaw?" Jazzsong stifled. "Where?"

"In…...your heart…." Stargleam singed. **(Because everyone loves to sing when they die.)**

"My…...hert?"

"in the herts of you, and everone in the clan…...Your lovving mamories will kep me aliv in your sols and I will also live on…." Stargleam toke one last dyigng breathe, raking her hole body with the eforrt. "…in Jesu Crist! The cat once again grew stil, and a gim silenche sept over."

"….StarGleam…."

FireStar was the firts to spek. "Every one! Look at Stargleam! She's…...GROWING!" **(Growing or glowing?)**

nd inded she was. JazzPaw gapsed, leping back from the lumisect corse. GlameStar's body ros into the air, small ligts apprearing arund her liek lighting bug. They swilled around her, puling her father into the sky. Lights began to shrine through StarKit's fur. The clan watches in aw as their savor slowy began to dispear into millons upon millionss of the lights. They swrled in the air abovve, slowly astending into Starcaln. The last few flits of sparke twined out of sight… and GleamStra was no mor. **(That's not how a cat dies, I'm pretty sure.)**

"Well." Muttured RedPaw. "I gess thats that than." **(Heh, Redpaw is unaffected by the death :P)**

"Must be." said her lesbian parter LakePaw. "But what wer thos lights?"

JazzStra stood and meowed, "The souls of all Starclan and Tunderclan…."

"And Jessus" Redpaw said thoghtful.

"Yeah." JazzPaw said, miling warmily. "and Ejsus." **(THAT'S THE END! THAT'S THE BLOODY END!)**

 **Edit: Shelly just found out there is an epilogue.**


	44. I Beat the Starkit's Prophecy Challenge!

EPILOUGE **(God damn you...)**

Hai guys! :D I guess were at the end of the sstroy. L It makes me kinda hapy and kindof sad at the smaet time. but i had lots of gun riting it 9eventho some saytanists FLAMED me glares0 But anyway I wanted to rexomend listening to Rome and juilet overture by chekhovsky when yu read his chapter. ~ **(Er...)**  
I know I aredy said this allot but I cant say it enogu, thanks you so much 2 everyone who liked this trory!11! =3333 u were what mad it wot it even with the flames, even when it got deleted even when Jzzy didnt like me and i got relly dpressed. So may StarClan light your path! :D! I LOVE YOU! ( jsus does too!) **(Oh thank you! I love you too!1111!1!1!)**

RedFur and LakePol walked out of the nruseusy their kits walkgint behind. "Hello" siad HawkFrost from the Hirghock, he was depudy now that GleamStar was dead dna JazzSong was the lder. Him and JazzStar wre mates now nd she was prengint, FlamePelt was leader while she was gone. "hi Hawkfrost siad Lakepolo and REdfur happly, they were friends now.  
RedFur loocked around her. there were cats were rebulidng Thonderclan piece by peace she could see JayFether dragging in some sticks, he looked happy she thought. he hadn't looked this happy since StarGlema was life. She was glad. Also she saw Firestar and GaryStripe building up the apprentices den and SandStorm helping them, NightRain was helping with the miedince den. **(Firestar and Graystripe should probably be dead... well, at least Firestar anyways.)**  
ReFur and LakePal smiled at heach other happily. Life would never be th se ame without StarLeam but it could be better agin.  
"Hey mama" said one of their kits it was BlueKit in honour of BlueStar. "Whose STaraGlame."  
"WHAT said LakePOol afast, dont you know at alll?" 'Don't be so hred on them LakePool," said ReddFur "their jus its." **(But I thought everyone knew who Stargleam was!)**  
"Well alrite" said LakePpl, "listen close." Allt he kits came closer, especially StarLit. RedFur wandered if she culd no about who she rlly was. **(THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING RECARINATION)**  
''You see once there was this xat who was born with a porpecy about her….." RedFur lsitedn as her mare told the kits all about there ant. as she was listening she looked up ath he sky wherethe sun smiled down at her. then she realized….. it really was smiling!1111 **(Because all suns can smile.)**

StarGleamStar was looking down at them all from Above. "LakePool look" she gasped and LakePool did look so did the kits. The StarGleam slimed even widder and winked a shining eye. Then she was gone.  
"look at that," siad LakePool smiling the kites asked what was going on but she just said, "she relaly is watching after all." RedFur and LakePools eyes met and therei tails twinned, and they jissed. **(Ick.)**

All was well in Thunderclan.

Soul looked on from abve the canp. He was bemeaing gayfully. everything had goen like hed wanted it to.

He locked up at the sky were he knew GleamStar was watching & the rest of Sratsclan. His work was done. Everythang was going to be

 **(So... Sol planned this whole thing?!)**

CREDITS

MUSIC CHEKOVSKY **(There was music?)**

STORY XDARKROSESX

WARIROS ERIN HONTER

EDIT 4 A COPPLE OF CHATPERS JAZZSONG

WARRIORS CARACTURES ERIN HUNTER

ORIGINAL CHARACTURS XDARROSESX

EVERYTHING ELSE YOU! **(Wheeeee!)**

THANK YOU FOR READDING! **(YOU'RE VERY WELCOME!)**

* * *

 **Hi there readers-**

 **This marks the end of this commentary. For those of you who have read every single chapter in this terror: Congratulations! Leave a review saying 'I beat the Starkit's Prophecy Challenge!'. If you put this quote on your profile, as well as a link to this commentary, you'll get a special prize from me! So, see you later,**

 **Rosebark at Harvest**


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